Almost bought a Tesla.

I drive a 2016 Lexus ES 350. I am thankful I haven't had any problems with the car despite buying it used, I expect nothing less from a Toyota. The car itself is paid off (thanks, dad) and all I do is pay the insurance on the car. Luckily, he also performs the maintenance on my car as well (very thankful).

Now, because I enjoy writing code and the fact that the year is 2024 automatically makes me a tech guru, I have always been interested in buying a Tesla because of its technology. I was contemplating whether or not to buy one for a little over a year. I originally was going to buy the Model 3, but then Elon Musk dropped the 0.99% APR for the Model Y, and I decided I was going to get the Model Y at that moment. 

So, before I get into why I didn't go through with it, let me give you a little backstory about me: I'm 24, never went to college, learned to write software by myself, never went to one of those coding boot camps, and currently work at a minimum wage job (I am not going to specify the position and where because I am too embarrassed). If I had gone through buying it, I could have gotten $19,500 from Carvana for my Lexus. Now because I work at a shitty job, my dad would have had to co-sign the car with me, so $47000 - $19500 = $27500 - $7500 (federal tax credit) = $20000, so I would roughly have to take about a $20k loan (technically $27500). I would probably have to pay about ~$400 monthly, give or take. 

In the days leading up to going to the dealership (we went yesterday, May 13th), a lot of things were bothering me, and I was emotionally overwhelmed (not going to say why). But everything felt off to me when we went to the dealership that day. It just didn't feel right. We made our reservation for the Model Y at the dealership, and finished some of the required steps on the Tesla app. We went home, I went to my room and just felt so overwhelmed not the good kind either. Something didn't feel right, I went to the living room, and my dad started doing the paperwork online so we could sell my car to Carvana. Luckily, the app you need to use to take photos of your car wasn't working correctly, and I just told my dad that we should cancel the reservation. We did, and I felt a little bit of relief. I was upset, not because I didn't get the car but because I was about to go through with it. It didn't feel right, it felt wrong. 

I'm just so tired.